I am a trained practitioner of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and an Associate Member of the British Emotionally Focused Therapy Centre. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an approach that has been scientifically researched and proven to be a highly effective way of addressing not only what is at the heart of a couple's relationship issues but also how to create positive and lasting change.  It is a collaborative approach that involve both couples and myself in working towards the couple's goals.

 

EFT is a short-term approach to reconnecting couples in a safe,

trusting environment in which unexpressed and unresolved

feelings can be uncovered and understood. Seeing, through the

experience in therapy, how these unresolved emotions have

created negative patterns of interaction in the relationship is the

foundation upon which positive change is built.

 

EFT was developed in the 1980s by Susan Johnson and Les

Greenberg and is grounded in attachment theory and social neuroscience.  As with the significant on-going developments in attachment and relationship science, so EFT has evolved to become an established and respected approach.

 

One of the key strengths of this approach is its focus on emotion.  Emotions are the blueprint for interactions with the people to whom we attach, they are the music to which the relationships dances.  If there is emotional mis-attunement, if the notes are off key, then the dance falters and fails.

 

How does EFT help Couples?

 

Often couples seek counselling when they are suffering deep wounds and negative patterns in the relationship.  One or both may feel unable to open up to the other, may feel that their partner is not receptive, doesn’t listen, even doesn’t care.  The resulting loneliness, uncertainty and insecurity undermines the need for safety and trust needed not only for a person’s well-being but for a relationship to thrive, flourish and deepen.

 

As an EFT couple’s therapist, my goal is to create safety and trust with each partner, ensuing both are heard, understood and validated.  The series of steps in this approach fall into three stages: de-escalation of conflict and an understanding of the underlying emotions relating to attachment beneath; changing interaction patterns – voicing attachment needs and deep emotions and hearing those same needs and feelings from the partner; consolidation and integration of what has been understood and the new skills and interactions established. 

 

EFT is a well document, empirically validated approach based on detailed scientific studies of adult love, attachment and bonding in couples.

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